I went to Staples just now and bought some fancy pens for the sign-in book for our wedding. At the cash register, I also saw some Slim Jims. I don’t know why Staples sells Slim Jims, but I happen to enjoy a Slim Jim now and again as you may recall from my incident at the Ralphs when I bought 14 of them.
I don’t know why Slim Jims always get a reaction from the cashiers. They sell them, shouldn’t it be no big deal if someone buys them? Now I was buying 5 but that’s not that many.
The woman said, “You really like them Slim Jims.”
I said, “No, they’re for my dog.”
She looked at me kind of weird and said, “For real?”
“No, they’re for me. Are you happy? I’m buying five Slim Jims for myself, okay?”
She said, “I don’t care. As long as you don’t give ‘em to your dog.”