First Dance

We’ve been finalizing our wedding plans and that means lots of trips to flower people, cake people, caterers, and bands.

We decided we wanted to do something different and cool so we’re having a live Brazilian band at the wedding. Neither of us is Brazilian, obviously, and it’s not like we know anything about Brazilian music, but it’s cool, and different, and so we’re meeting with Brazilian bands.

So we went to listen to one band at a club they were playing and we had arranged to meet with them during a break. These guys were great and we wanted to hire them to play the wedding. So we negotiated the fee and everything seemed perfect, and then I remembered we wanted them to play a non-Brazilian song for the first dance. It’s kind of an inside thing, but Michelle and I really like this song called, “Song Beneath the Song.”

So I said, “Oh, I forgot, can you just play one song that’s not Brazilian?” I explained the story and told them the song.

And the bandleader, who’s this Brazilian woman, says, “No.”

I’m like, “Seriously?”

She said, “We only play Brazilian music.”

And I said, “I know. I get that. I’m just saying the one song for the first dance.”

And she looks at me and says, “No. You want a band to play that shit from Grey’s Anatomy you can hire a whiny American band.”

I couldn’t believe it. So I turned to Michelle and said, “We should talk about this.”

I told the bandleader we’d get back to her.

Am I crazy here? Is it really a major faux pas to ask a Brazilian band to play one song not from Brazil?

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8 Responses to First Dance

  1. jen says:

    Haha, I kind of love the band for saying that, but it would irritate me if I was in your shoes. But, I’m sure you’d be able to find another band that would play it, if its a deal breaker for you.

  2. Pete says:

    I decided last night, for no particular reason, that the best cure for the “stuck in a rut” feeling I have in my otherwise satisfying life would be to make a concerted effort to talk to strangers. So this morning, I googled “Talk to Strangers,” and found this.

    I spent the next two (three?) hours reading your blog from beginning to end. I love that you shared this experience, including the important reminder that no matter how much easier it gets, and no matter how much it improves your life, talking to strangers sometimes results in a totally undeserved, “Fuck you.” But it’s still totally worth it.

    So I’m starting my concerted effort today. Right now actually, by writing this to you. I never comment on blogs or articles or anything, but that’s the point, right?

    And I hope you keep writing, because I’ve been married for nine years, and talking to strangers–particularly attractive women–is an entirely different experience when you’re by yourself AND wearing a wedding band. I’m curious to see how much of a difference you notice.

    Thanks again for sharing this.

    • You’ve taken the first step on a long journey. Ha, just trying to sound mystical.

      Thanks for the comment. Let me know how talking to strangers goes. And I’ll let you know how being married affects my odds with hot women.

  3. Malu says:

    Hey Fletcher, I’m Brazilian and I think it’s really cool that you wanna ask a Brazilian band to play at your wedding!
    But just so you know, not all Brazilians are as rude as that lady you talked to (she was awful!).
    I think she should have been willing to play your first dance song after all you were hiring her band.
    Anyways, that’s all I had to say really. I hope you find a better band to play at your wedding too!

  4. A Reader says:

    I’m afraid my immediate reaction was along the lines of…
    “Typical American. Believe they own the world and everyone should automatically want to fit to American ideas. Ignorant about other cultures and people, uninterested in them except as an imagined quaint deviation from the Good Ole USofA, yessir.”

    So why Brazilian? Let me guess… for the novelty of having foreign entertainers at the event, implicitly at your whim.

    You probably don’t realise just how strange many Americans and American views seem to most of the world. Strange in sort of undeveloped, uneducated, adolescent society sort of way.

    Sorry to say this. Perhaps, one day, you’ll realise that the world doesn’t revolve around American ideas.

  5. Liz says:

    A good musician would have said yes. Because music is about celebration, communication, and sharing. The result may have been your song in their style, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but you would have been able to enjoy your moment in an unforgettable way. What true musician would not want to be a part of creating that?

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