Monthly Archives: April 2011

Authenticity

Gonna lay some deep shit on you here, so if you’re mostly following my blog for the stories about beat-downs and bitchy waitresses, you might want to skip this one. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my college philosophy … Continue reading

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Animal Shelter Girl

I was walking down Montana on Sunday on the way to meet Paul for lunch when I saw the pet adoption people outside the Whole Foods. I was early anyway, so I stopped and said hello to the dogs. (I’m … Continue reading

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Kicking a Man When He’s Down…

First off, let me just say that I haven’t been in a fist-fight since 8th grade when Neil Jackaway insulted my mother and I hauled off and punched him in the face (that fight was deemed a “draw” by my … Continue reading

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Three Strikes

Lately I’ve felt like I’ve come such a long way being able to talk to strangers that I’ve almost perfected the art. Such hubris always presages the fall and sure enough I bit it big time Saturday night. I actually … Continue reading

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Consultant Woman

A woman was brought through our department yesterday and we were told she was an outside “consultant” who was going to look for ways to restructure our department. In case you’re just joining us, I work at an investment bank. … Continue reading

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Rocker Slut

So I went to hear Jennifer’s band play again Friday night. They sucked worse than before but I put up with it for obvious reasons. Then, after the show, I went backstage and there was Jennifer making out with some … Continue reading

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Top Ten List

Top ten reader-submitted responses to the question, “Why is your Lamborghini black with gold sparkles down the middle?” 10. “It matches my shoes.” —PeacePipe21 9. “Three words: Liberace Estate Sale.” –Ken D. 8. “The gold for the side panels was … Continue reading

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“No one ever noticed me in my solid-colored Lamborghini.”

I was driving down Lincoln Blvd. and spotted this: I know the picture is pretty crappy (I was driving while shooting) but it’s a gold-sparkled Lamborghini. The sides are black but it’s all glitter from bumper to bumper. I wanted … Continue reading

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Gordian Knot

That guy Gordo keeps emailing me asking if there’s any jobs at my bank. I’m the kind of guy who responds to every email (excluding junk) but these ones I just deleted. Then, last night he calls me on my … Continue reading

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