Rocker Grrrl

Jennifer and I did it last night and she was amazing.

I’ll be honest. In my limited experience, women are all about the same in bed. That is to say, the standard deviation between awesome in bed and sucky in bed is very small for me. Now of course my sample size is far too limited to be accurate; hence the incredible deviation last night. Jennifer is just wild and fun and sexy and I don’t know what to say, she was just really good at it.

Ah, but here’s the problem. Cut to three hours earlier. I finally got to see Jennifer’s band perform at a club. And guess what? She is awful. The band blows, the songs suck, and Jennifer can’t sing for shit.

First of all, the “club” was little more than some loser’s rec room. I was expecting the Sunset Strip. Instead, we all crammed into a tiny little basement in some douche’s house in Hollywood. But regardless of the venue, the real problem is that Jennifer has absolutely no talent. I mean, at singing. I’ve already established that she has talent elsewhere.

I guess I just had this fantasy that I was dating Courtney Love or something (a cute version). I built it up in my head that she would be a kick-ass rocker chick and that it would be cool hanging out with her and the band.

But it wasn’t cool. It was really, really embarrassing. So I lied. And I was rewarded with the best sex of my life.

So great. Now what do I do? Keep telling her she’s great and sit through countless more high school talent show reject shows, or tell her the truth and lose her great sex stuff forever? I am so pissed. Why couldn’t she have just been good? Is that too much to ask for? Like at least American Idol Hollywood Week good. Not “I don’t know this chick” bad.

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One Response to Rocker Grrrl

  1. NoAmbition says:

    Nice use of the word “douche”; never out of place.

    What’s the difference? Guys never lie for sex (even crappy sex, of which Jen is obviously not a practioner)? Come on, Fletcher …

    … unless you’re starting to have feelings for her (or are holding that possibility open), in which case I applaud you heartily on the second step in moving on from EG. If you’re just not into lying to Jen, I appeal to you to keep doing it for a while just to be with her (think of all the strangers you can talk to at her band’s shows, since obviously no one will be listening to the music). It’s nigh IMPOSSIBLE (unless you’re one of those lucky few who honestly don’t give a pile about what others think of them) to tell someone they’re not good at something they think they’re good at.

    On the positive side, if the band is really as worthless as you say, they’ll never be playing anywhere where you’d have to pretend not to be her boyfriend. I once knew this band in Boston (can’t remember the name anymore) whose only criterion for joining was that you not be able to sing and that you play an instrument that you’ve never played before … 20-30 people would get up on stage and just totally suck for a half-hour and it was horrifying … but the dude who organized the band’s shows was some 20-something supergenius dot-com zillionaire and he was just having a good time and didn’t care if the audience “got it” or not. And the band had a following! Wild …

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