Jennifer and I did it last night and she was amazing.
I’ll be honest. In my limited experience, women are all about the same in bed. That is to say, the standard deviation between awesome in bed and sucky in bed is very small for me. Now of course my sample size is far too limited to be accurate; hence the incredible deviation last night. Jennifer is just wild and fun and sexy and I don’t know what to say, she was just really good at it.
Ah, but here’s the problem. Cut to three hours earlier. I finally got to see Jennifer’s band perform at a club. And guess what? She is awful. The band blows, the songs suck, and Jennifer can’t sing for shit.
First of all, the “club” was little more than some loser’s rec room. I was expecting the Sunset Strip. Instead, we all crammed into a tiny little basement in some douche’s house in Hollywood. But regardless of the venue, the real problem is that Jennifer has absolutely no talent. I mean, at singing. I’ve already established that she has talent elsewhere.
I guess I just had this fantasy that I was dating Courtney Love or something (a cute version). I built it up in my head that she would be a kick-ass rocker chick and that it would be cool hanging out with her and the band.
But it wasn’t cool. It was really, really embarrassing. So I lied. And I was rewarded with the best sex of my life.
So great. Now what do I do? Keep telling her she’s great and sit through countless more high school talent show reject shows, or tell her the truth and lose her great sex stuff forever? I am so pissed. Why couldn’t she have just been good? Is that too much to ask for? Like at least American Idol Hollywood Week good. Not “I don’t know this chick” bad.