I’m walking down San Vicente on the way to Baja Fresh and I see three tall, beautiful women coming towards me.
Seriously. It looks like the beginning of a porno scene. Or at least a music video.
They pass by me (I’m getting good at talking to strangers, but not so much hot Amazons licking icing), and I kept going. Suddenly, I notice two more women, just as hot, going into some store.
The store is called “Susie Cakes.” It’s apparently been there for months, maybe even years, but I’ve never noticed it before. Before I knew it, I found myself inside the store looking around.
I was literally the only man in the entire store. There was a long line, filled with every kind of hot woman. I was dumbfounded. You’d expect some overweight women in a cupcake shop, but not here. Not in Brentwood. Here, Susie Cakes is the feeding grounds of the insanely hot woman.
I had to find out the secret to this place. Sure I was intimidated, but I steeled myself and tapped the gorgeous woman next to me.
“Hey, what’s the deal with the cupcakes? Are they really that good?”
She looked at me like a missionary looks at a cannibal. “You’ve never tried a Susie Cake?”
“Nope. I just saw all these people and wanted to see what the big deal was.”
Three minutes later I was eating a Red Velvet cupcake at a small table with the woman. Honestly, it just tasted like a cupcake to me. Maybe better than you’d get at a kid’s birthday party but not an orgasmic experience.
I asked my new friend, “Why is it all women here?”
She explained that for women cupcakes are better than sex. And some of these women work out all week in order to eat one Susie Cake.
I nursed my cupcake so I could enjoy the sights a while. It was kind of like having a snack on Mount Olympus.
I finished my cupcake, said goodbye to Cupcake Lady, and went to Baja Fresh for some steak tacos.