Bao Guy Takes an Unforeseen Twist

I just checked my voicemail. Scott is in fact being evicted at the end of the month and he asked if he could stay with me until he finds a new apartment!

WTF?!

I know we’ve become friendly and I’m dating his friend’s friend Marny. But we don’t know each other that well, do we? And how does he know I have a two-bedroom apartment? Maybe Marny told him.

I haven’t had a roommate since college. Why would I? I hate people!

Now if I say no, he probably never talks to me again and neither does Director Guy. And maybe even Marny. But I can’t live with some dude I hardly even know. I can just see myself putting fucking post-its on my leftover pork fried rice saying “Fletcher’s.”

I get back from Seattle later today. How the hell am I going to get out of this?

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4 Responses to Bao Guy Takes an Unforeseen Twist

  1. Jezba says:

    Fletcher–easy one man. Tell him you have scabies. It is so simple! Tell him you contracted scabies from all of the stray dogs you keep you in your apartment and that now isnt a good time unless he wants the same disease that causes skin to flake and harden and hair to fall out. But he is totally more than welcome to stay if he doesnt mind. But dont forget to mention that it is highly contagious. So yeah, offer is on the table bao guy!

  2. Amy says:

    You could always make up some elaborate story about how when you signed your lease, your landlord gave you a deal on the rent if you signed on to a “no roommate” lease, meaning you would never share the apartment with another man or woman, regardless of relationship.
    I know it sounds far-fetched and bit unbelievable … but it’s worth a shot?

    • It’s a good idea (at least better than “scabies”) but there’s a big problem with any excuse I come up with: I feel like it’s going against the principal I’m trying to follow. I mean, shouldn’t I at least give it a shot? It’s just temporary…

      • Amy says:

        I’m glad I beat out scabies! Which is now my new office catch phrase.
        Let me tell you about “temporary” roommates. I’m a sucker for helping anyone out, I really am. I’d probably give a stranger my bed for the night if they asked nice enough. Maybe because I’m this way, people take advantage of me. BUT. In my 3-bedroom house I have 7 other people living in my house for the last 3 1/2 years.
        My point is be very careful with temporary roommates. He might get a little too comfortable and forget he needs to move out. Then…will you feel okay with telling your friend he needs to get out? It’s harder than it sounds, trust me.

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